The Long Overdue FlyLady Post

Over a year ago now, I joined something (or someone) called FlyLady. The "Fly" part is actually an acronym that stands for Finally Loving Yourself (I’ve been thinking a lot about that, more on it later). I’ve been meaning to blog about her for quite some time, because she’s helped me so much. The change has been slow at times, but that’s the kind of change that lasts. Perhaps that’s why this blog post was so long in coming. There were other habits that were more important to me than blogging every week. Now I’m beginning to spread non-perfectionism even to blogging. I hope. But I’m getting ahead of my explanation.

What is “FlyLady”? She is Marla Cilley at flylady.net, “your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home.” But, as I suspected when I signed up, she is much more than that. She helps you build new habits and think of things in new ways – tools that can’t help but help in areas besides the home. Since I had always felt like I struggled with many simple disciplines and my time / life organization kept feeling like it was spinning out of control, I very much welcomed the idea. There are a few tools I now wish I had had in college – her website and emails, a book called Getting Things Done, and my Palm Pilot.

Why is she so great? Two huge things: first, she helps you build routines. Some of you think you don’t like routines. I don’t really believe you. Routines are just habits with some kind of trigger attached. Everyone has habits. Almost everyone sits in the same desk in class week after week, etc. Routines can be good or bad, just like habits. For example, every day when you get home from school or work the first thing you do may be to get some chips and sit down in front of the TV. Or maybe there are a few things you always do before you go to bed, like change and set your alarm. With FlyLady, you build onto those routines, so that being consistent about certain things comes naturally – you don’t have to think about it or expend energy trying to get yourself to do it. (You won't realize how much energy it took until you're using that energy on other things.) Learning how to build new habits is such a valuable skill! I rarely miss my devotions anymore – not because I have a stronger will than others, but because it has become a habit.

You think FlyLady wouldn’t work for you because you’re not an organized person? Her system isn’t designed for those who are “born organized”! It’s meant for everyone who isn’t! The amazing thing actually is that it even works for me, someone who does like to organize things. The unorganized (and artistic and creative) are the people who send her thousands of testimonials saying what a difference she’s made in their lives.

Second, she helps you stop being so perfectionistic. As it turns out, I and many others who wouldn’t think of themselves as perfectionistic actually are. Because our lives are so far from perfect, we don't realize that we are. But that’s one of the major symptoms. We don’t have enough time and energy to do things perfectly, so they don’t get done at all. It seems obvious now.

That's FlyLady in a nutshell. I'll post more on the effect that she's had on my life later. I would now, but, well, I've written it already, and believe me, it's a much longer post than you want to read. So later.

The Prestige

How come I hadn't heard of this movie? None of my friends or family must have seen it, because surely they would have told me about it if they had.

Dang. It's a good movie. A little hard to describe, though. Perhaps the easiest way is by saying that the director is Christopher Nolan, who also did Batman Begins and Memento. I actually haven't seen Memento, but from what I've heard of its premise, The Prestige has a similar feel. It's not nearly as strongly nonlinear, but is still a great exercise for the mind.

The synopsis is, in some ways, less helpful -- it's about a rivalry between two magicians. Not necessarily a synopsis that grabs the attention or makes you say, "ooh, I want to see that." But if you think about it very long, it makes sense. Take a writer/director like Christopher Nolan, add a story line like that, and trust him to make the very form of the movie add to the theme. He had the help of a novel to work off of, but it's still an amazing adaptation. It tends to be a good sign when the original author says, "I wish I'd thought of that"... (=

A good magician mystifies us. Obviously that's an element which will be used. But it isn't merely shown in the magic tricks of the characters, but rather becomes an integral part of the entire storyline, so that the movie follows the structure of a magic trick: pledge, turn, and prestige. There's still a lot to think about for me. The need to see it again is almost as great for this movie as it was for The Sixth Sense. Only, I figured out The Sixth Sense. Well, okay, when I heard one particular line I strongly suspected, and I thought about it for a while, but then in the midst of the action of the movie I forgot. Until the end. But still! I didn't figure out The Prestige. I knew I was missing something, but I didn't quite get all the pieces together. The clues are certainly there! But again, the movie is like a good magic trick, and the nonlinear narrative, among other things, helps to distract and misdirect. Just following it was a bit of mental exercise, albeit exercise that I thoroughly enjoyed!

Perhaps after watching it a second or third time I'll be able to move on to thinking about the themes of obsession and sacrifice. John figured the movie out, and he still loved it. It's dense enough to enjoy on many levels.

And now my brain's begun to run around in dizzy little circles. Time for bed. Review of great movie does not need to be masterfully crafted. Great movie does not need to be analyzed further right now, although I feel like I'm forgetting something, or still missing something, or something...

Yay for fun quiz type things!

I just found out I was tagged almost a month ago. I knew I was behind on my blog-reading, but people don't normally tag me! Thanks, Joi! Good excuse to blog, although I need to get up early tomorrow and should go to bed.

A - Available/Single?
Married.

B - Best Friend?
I've got to say Rachel, although I think Rachel's answer of Maurice was very sweet, once I remembered who "Maurice" is. I love you all! And Sharon and Andrea and Annalisa and Laurel.

C - Cake or Pie?
Mmm, cookies... Er, um, pie. That lemon mousse pie from Leanne's menu mailers is my new favorite.

D - Drink of Choice?

Water, milk, and tea. But only the milk and the tea together, and then not in equal proportions.

E - Essential Item You Use Everyday?
I've got to disagree with Joi on this one. I use fingers for my three feet (or however long) of hair, not a comb.

F - Favorite Color
Blue

G - Gummy Bears or Worms?
Worms are yummier...

H - Hometown?
Wilmington, CA

I - Indulgence?
Books and blogs, I suppose. I absolutely love barefoot Ultimate, ideally in the rain, and then a shower and/or bubble bath with a book, but that's an extremely occasional indulgence. Sweet things in general, from the aforementioned lemon mousse pie to Cadbury eggs to ginger snaps to Scottish shortbread.

J - January or February?
There's a difference? Oh, right, February has 28 days. Nah, I think, despite what Joi says again (and Liz, as I found out later), that there tends to be slightly more cold/rain in southern California in January. I'd have to check records to be sure, of course, but that's my feeling on it. And thus, I choose January. Oh, plus January was Interterm, although it isn't for me anymore, and that will forever make it special. (=

K - Kids & Their Names
Lucy Motte is awesome. That's all I have to say.

L - Life Is Incomplete Without?
Uh... God. I would apologize for the cheap answer, except I only read Liz' answers after I wrote this, but before (obviously) I posted, and so, having read different (and funny) answers, it honestly didn't occur to me at first that this is the standard cliche answer. I thought about the question for a moment (see the "Uh...") and then remembered the answer would be God. ::shrug::

M - Marriage Date?
June 25, 2005!

N - Number Of Siblings?
Even dozen.

O - Oranges or Apples?

(insert singsong voice here) Apples, apples, apples every day.

P - Phobias/Fears
Jumping off of high things, or even relatively low things, especially if there are any protrusions I'd have to clear. I don't mind heights (other than ones that depend on my skill, like trees) in general, but the jumping part is bad.

Q - Favorite Quote?
Foolish mortal, you should not ask me such a thing. That's a perfect excuse to list a ton of them. Heh heh, such fun. Uh, I'm going to put them at the bottom of this thing though. My list is getting much too long. Sorry about the formatting. Blogger can be weird when you copy and paste, and I don't want to take the time to mess with it.

R - Reason to Smile?
See the quotes at the bottom.

S - Season?
Wintery-springy transition time -- just after a rain, when everything is clean, the sun is bright, the clouds are large, the birds are singing, and the "color contrast" seems to be turned up high.

T - Tag Three People
Hmm. Melanie, Beth, Sharon. (I'll admit, just about the only people who read this, have a blog, and haven't been tagged yet as far as I know. And will do it. I don't think John would do it. Maybe I'm wrong.)

U - Unknown Fact About Me?
Hmm. My weight when I was born. What age I learned to read. No, I'm serious, those things are unknown. Apparently you don't remember stuff like that for your twelfth child. Sorry, that sounds much more depressing than I feel right now. I was just trying to think of something unknown...

V - Vegetables You Don't Like?
Dunno. Not sure I've ever had brussels sprouts.

W - Worst Habit?
Probably going overboard when I "just want to relax" and doing things like spending hours online instead of going to bed. I do exercise, and I'm getting much much better about my eating habits. Both thanks to Flylady. With practice, I'll get better about my other bad habits, too. Yay!

X - X-rays You've Had?
Teeth, ankle area.

Y - Your Favorite Food?
Golden raisins. Like healthy candy...

Z - Zodiac Sign?
Shigure, but I'm really much more of a Kisa.



In Enemy Hands by David Weber:
“‘Why not? How could anyone who doesn’t recognize a deeply sincere bribery attempt when he sees one possibly be a good judge of character?’ McKeon grinned at her, and she shook her head sadly.

‘And to think,’ she sighed, ‘that the Lords of the Admiralty saw fit to make someone of your dubious moral character a Queen’s officer.’

‘But of course, Milady!’ McKeon said, grinning even more broadly as the lift came to a halt. ‘Surely you didn’t think Nimitz was where I started bribing peeople, did you?’”

"Uncle Fred Flits By" by P.G. Wodehouse
“‘He is an assistant at a jellied eel shop.’

‘But surely,’ said Lord Ickenham, ‘that speaks well for him. The capacity to jelly an eel seems to me to argue intelligence of a high order. It isn’t everybody who can do it, by any means. I know if someone came to me and said “Jelly this eel!” I should be nonplused. And so, or I am very much mistaken, would Ramsay MacDonald and Winston Churchill.’”

The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien:
“The writer asked if Tolkien would ‘tell us some more about the name and inception of the intriguing hero of his book….. It would save so many research students so very much trouble in the generations to come. …’

‘…But would not that be rather unfair to the research students? To save them trouble is to rob them of any excuse for existing.’”

Sunshine by Robin McKinley
“…and there was one of those weird bits of mental slippage that trauma produces: I thought, oh, what a good thing I’m not dead, I never did write that recipe down for Paulie….”

The Briar King by Greg Keyes
“‘What are those things on the side of your head? Does nothing you hear reach your brain?’”

Also The Briar King:
“‘I have an idea,’ Cazio said, after a moment.

‘What a lonely creature it must be.’”

Sorcery & Cecelia or The Enchanted Pot: being the correspondence of Two Young
Ladies of Quality regarding various Magical Scandals in London and the Country by Patricia C. Wrede and Caroline Stevermer
"'Practice your dancing. With enough study you might attain a degree of proficiency.'

'What a rude thing to say!' I replied. 'I would practice, but practice requires a partner.'

He smiled with such a degree of cynicism I almost expected his teeth to glint metallic. 'You won't lack for partners now. I've made Sally Jersey give me a waltz with you. Everyone will be agog to find out why.'

'Don't you want to know what I'm going to tell them?' I asked.

'Oh, they won't ask, don't think it. No, they'll dance with you and then say I am justly called mysterious,' he said."

Paladin of Souls by Lois McMaster Bujold
“‘I have often prayed for the goddess to touch my heart,’ said the Mother’s comptroller. ‘It is my highest spiritual goal to see Her face-to-face. Indeed, I often think I have felt Her, from time to time.’

Anyone who desires to see the gods face-to-face is a great fool, thought Ista. Although that was not an impediment, in her experience.

‘You don’t have to pray to do that,’ said the divine. ‘You just have to die. It’s not hard.’ He rubbed his second chin. ‘In fact, it’s unavoidable.’

‘To be god-touched in life,’ corrected the comptroller coolly. ‘That is the great blessing we all long for.’

No, it’s not. If you saw the Mother’s face right now, woman, you would drop weeping in the mud of this road and not get up for days.”

And other random quotes:
"Timmy! YOU can be my sycophant!"

“You crashed! That was spectacular! Do it again!”

"I do my best thinking in the shower, so now that we don't have very much water I don't get much thinking done."

“You need to take a lesson from your bellybutton, here.”

“Don’t be nice, except in the nontechnical, everyday sense.”

“Anyone who telepathically prints Ariels for fun has problems.”

“Oh, except it would be better if I caught one, for my bug collection.” on the proper treatment of bedbugs

“It’s early in the morning and I’m a linguist. I’m supposed to be annoying!”

“How many disembodied heads do you have acquaintance with?”

“It’s possible to like something without shoving your head inside of it.”

“I will run semantic circles around your dizzy little head!”

“If you use your brain in this class, it really helps.”

“I would not try to clean up Shelob with a roll of toilet paper!”

“I do not want to be a seductive rodent!”

“I like pi + i because it’s kind of like me: it’s complex… it has rational and irrational parts… and the rational part is imaginary.”

“Whoa, flamingoes! We can’t go that way.”

“You can’t do Dr. Seuss, classical music, and martial arts all at the same time!”

“I feel like you’re a CD.” –after I told her a couple Japanese phrases

“Shooting government bureaucrats would be an effective way to reduce government waste.” –from a conversation on the importance of militias.

“Gaaa! More ‘Lakme Indian Fashion Week!’”
“Well you did a search for ‘Lakme,’ what did you expect?”

“When you put it that way, maybe I am a towel.”

“Don’t mock my diabolikility!”

“You do love me. You’re willing to break a laptop over my head.”

“Hopefully we’ll get there… Hence my use of a concise way of saying, ‘I hope and expect that.’”
“What’s the other one that’s just ‘I hope?’ Oh. ‘I hope.’”

“She picked it up and went, ‘Oh, poor snail, its shell cracked!’ and then it started bubbling!

“Now your fingers are toasty warm. Toast with bubbling snails on top.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not a fallacy so I’m not dumb.”

“Now see, we can just Photoshop out your body…”

"Who knew that the mark of the Beast was a glorified alarm?"

"The doctor then asked me if I ever felt like I had bugs crawling all over me. I counted to ten, and then I said very calmly, 'I live in the jungle. If I feel like I have bugs crawling on me, I usually do.' " –seen on Sharon’s blog

“Black helicopters have to do with syllable structure?”

“We’ve talked about the what, and we’ve talked about how the what happens, and now we’re going to talk about why the what happens… We will actually start using real words. Shortly.”

“We borrowed the names of Santa’s reindeer from German. Donner and Blitzen, lightning and thunder.”
“That sounds slightly less cuddly.”

“It’s like spontaneous combustion, right? Spontaneous vowel centralization.”

“I don’t think out loud. I have to think in my head and then I say it.”

“It’s like having two different sets of magnetic poetry on your fridge.” -on code switching.

“Have you had your archiphonemes today?”

“Finnish speaker here meets Swedish speaker there and says ‘Oh! We’re lacking a definite article! Can I borrow one?” -on the implausibility of borrowing grammatical morphemes

“We have snicken into the room.”

“Friends are more expensive now.”
“Inflation.”

“That’s one thing about linguistics. It will ruin you for life. You’ll never be able to talk again.”

“Probably often is used more … frequently.”

“Let’s get rid of our archiphonemes … our arch nemesis.”

“Everyone didn’t just wake up one morning and say ‘Oh! Our vowels have slipped.’”
“How embarrassing!”

[Really big word] (Pneumonomicroscopicsilicovolcanoconsis?)
“Yes! I know that word!”

"I was killed by punctuation."

"Did I just see a second Mugging? Oh, good."

"We're listening to vegetables talking."

"I can afford to be arrogant, because I'm so insecure."

"Let me help you from your misery, O honeycomb."

"You put one hand underneath your leg. That's your foot."

"Setting it in the real world just automatically makes it a 'Buffy' sort of situation."

"It was on Jeopardy once. Look it up."
"But we aren't going to put the Jeopardy one in, because people normally say things like that."

"I'm going to misquote myself aloud, so that way it'll be real."

"I normally wait at least a day before I laugh at myself."

"I can subtract 5 from 25 at least twice every day."

"Oh! Got him with the old 'Ha ha, you speak English' thing!"

"No! We will never have blue sheep!"

"I care about Highlander more than Jeff."

"If you need roots, plant a tree."

"Look, we thought of this clever comment, and hey, we can lie with it!"

"The falling and splattering is normal. We always did that."

"We got into groups of who we were with."

"'She didn't say it right, so we had to make her say it again so...' No, that's not right."

"Can you be depressed tomorrow? That's the next one."

"I'm gonna drown, just because I can't swim."

"Run, Ron, run! The toilet's leaving soon!"

"Okay, which yellow is the real yellow and which one is the pretend yellow?"

"Oh, how cute! It's an Eeyore decapitated!"

"Aah! The Corn Flakes deflected the milk."

"D in a ZC! That is driving me nuts!"

"Come on, smoking carcass, get up!"

"Orange? I've never seen that color before!"

"I can only build a fusion cannon?!"

"I am a foofy blue monster! Cause -- I'm blue now!"

"But my heart reason is that he uses similes like 'bumblebees.'"

"I wish I weren't unique like everyone else. Then I'd be different than them."

"College students don't look young to me yet -- (gasp) oh, wait, they do!"

"I didn't know what slumber was! I figured it was probably kind of orangeish, but I didn't know."

"Hey, Abby! Come back and be funny and evil again!"

"Don't worry, you don't need to put it in your quote book because you'll have me with you always."

"I have to tie my shoe, and it's all different."

"Oh good! 'You Don't Love Me Any More.'"

"It's a bloody pain not to reproduce!"

"I've seen mutant Kristins in my day, who have two I's."

"Chew me to bits! But not the cards, please."